Notes from the Empty Nest

Child has fledged (to University) and, for the first time in 18 years, He Who Must Not Be Named and I have a childless house.

In this first week of empty nesting, I’ve discovered some interesting things:

  • Despite someone’s protestations to the contrary, Child was not the source of all curious and offensive sounds and smells in our house. (Now, evidently, the bunnies “did it.”)
  • Child was also not the (only) reason a) we can’t have nice things, b) there are always crumbs on the countertops even though I really did wipe everything down after I did the dishes, c) the light was left on, the window was left open, the toilet seat was left up (I never did believe this one), and d) the empty container of milk, etc. was put back in the fridge instead of the recycling bin. For all the times you’ve been falsely accused, Child, apologies from your madre.
  • Child was, however, the source of a truly staggering amount of laundry. I’ve run one load since she’s been gone and that’s only because I was running out of socks.
  • Although hubby and I didn’t sleep well the first two nights after she left (we both felt the house was “too quiet”), we’re now getting a surprising amount of uninterrupted sleep. For those of you who are still suffering through the years of night-waking, being the midnight mom-taxi, and 2 a.m. teen munchies, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
  • While FaceTime calls and trips to visit Child (who is only an hour away) eat into this somewhat, I do have more free time now that we are empty nesters. Some of this has translated into very enjoyable conversations with He Who Must Not Be Named (we’ve rediscovered a number of things we like to talk about that don’t involve Child), but it’s also resulted in a surge of productivity at work and in my writing.
  • There’s this thing called porn and, when you can watch it without fear of discovery, it’s a surprising source of inspiration. I predict both our “adult time” and my written sex scenes getting a lot raunchier. 😀

Those are my initial thoughts on having a child-free home. Yes, I do miss her. But, wow, the freedom of being an empty nester! Here’s to many more nights of uninterrupted sleep.

(Image courtesy of pieonane from Pixabay.)

5 comments

  1. I’m feeling jealous. I have two that are 20 and one of 17 and it doesn’t look like any of them plan on leaving home soon.
    We have certain items of bedroom equipment that only see the light of day if we manage to sneak a couple of days away on our own. In the last year there has only been one time all three (plus various love interests) were out the house when hubbie and I were in – needless to say we took advantage of that.
    Enjoy your new found freedom.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! Because Child is one of the most curious, nosy buggers on the planet, we’ve had to be super restrained for the last decade. But the restraints are off (or on, as the case may be 😉 )!
      The sleep thing really surprised me. After the first two nights when we were both up every few hours, staring at each other in the dark and whispering, “why is the house so quiet?” 7+ hours of uninterrupted, deep sleep every night is a revelation. I guess once I became a parent, I’ve been sleeping with one ear open, waiting for the cry in the night. Even once she was long past the stage when she needed us in the night. Knowing that she’s not in the house has finally sunk deep into my subconscious and now I’m not even waking when hubby gets up to go to the bathroom. It’s a sea change, getting a full night’s sleep for the first time in 20 years. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Feel for me here please! My son is 30 and is unlikely to ever leave home due to mitigating circumstances. He has fabulous hearing and never misses a thing! His bedroom is downstairs so that does afford a little more leeway for muted noise making, but my partner and I can be rather feral at times so the noise levels are an issue. We have gotten very creative over the past few years though, the workshop down my garden has been soundproofed and insulated! Girl has gotta have her fun! 😀 x Loved the post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do feel for you!! I hadn’t really realised how constrained we’ve been over the last decade by our bat-eared child until the past two weeks so every “restrained” parent has my utmost sympathy!!

      Liked by 1 person

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